Dear Future Husband,
I know who you are. Please don't take that to be a creepy thing. God has shown you to me. Honestly I don't know much about you. We have friends in common, but these days I have asked them to make sure not to even speak of you in my presence. I want to learn everything about you, from you. Not Facebook, or friends, but from you, in His timing. I wonder if you know its me yet. I saw you and the moment I saw you, I knew. The first time we ever met, my ex and i had just broken up, and I got on my knees and prayed and begged for God to show me that I'm not meant to be alone. "Lord, I know I'm not ready to be with anyone, but just show me I'm not meant to be alone, please." I sobbed and said this. He answered and showed me you.
Again He showed me you, when I got it stuck in my head that God had said I would marry my ex.
And again when I thought a dear friend was the one.
I don't know what the future brings, but after getting this amazing job, in a completely God-had-to-have-done-it way, I no longer am afraid. Its you. I know its you. I will wait for you.
I had a guy hit on me the other night. I had left my work party early and gone to my favorite bar for Sunday night karaoke and a few beers and familiar faces. it was refreshing. I ran into the old friend from h.s. that got me this amazing job I now have. Later my friend was too drunk to drive, (he tried to bs me with he's done it before and I looked at him and went.. "I don't care if you've done it before...it doesn't mean you repeat that performance." So we took him to Denny's to sober up. It was me, Chris (said drunk friend) Patrick, and a new guy that none of us had met before. We start talking child trafficking and politics, it gets late so I excuse myself and go to my car. (at about 4 am..haha.) The new guy (Tyler) walks me to my car and I hear this voice (satan) say "You know, you could have sex if you wanted to." I didn't want to. I thought of you. I thought of how much it would hurt my husband. The guy then asked if I wanted to continue our conversation back at my place. I looked him in the eyes and told him "Look I'ma be real with you. I don't believe in sex before marriage." He looked at me funny and told me that he just wanted to continue the conversation, which I told him I would be happy to do via text or facebook. When I got home, he started telling me how into me he was. It was sweet at first, annoying after. It didn't really affect me at all. I told him, I knew who God had for me, and I would only ever date that person. He asked, "How do you know that I'm not that person?" When you know you know. What can I say.
Turns out, the guy from that night, has a gf, and is possibly married. He was a creeper. And a test. And satan trying to attack my faith in what God has shown me. I love you darling. I learned recently, something I almost did, and chose not to out of fatigue and disobedience to God, would have had us run into each other. God is unchanging, and when the time is right. It'll happen. :D
(Can I go ahead and admit it would totally be awesome if we somehow saw each other for V-Day this year? (perhaps by way of you getting the idea to ask me out from some random place in your head...or online persay..) Just throwing that out there, teehee. ( If you are meant to see that...you will.)
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