Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Food for Thought
The bible says that faith at its strongest can move mountains. It also says that love is even greater than faith. Imagine the endless possibilities for love. Perhaps if faith can move mountains, love can change the world.
I want to change the world. Perhaps, this is not out of the realm of possibilities for me. I have always been someone who sought after love, and wanted to love others. Before I came to Christ, I was unable to fully understand the true depth and form of love.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7.
This sort of love would seem almost impossible, except it is actually quite plausible.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5: 22-23.
True biblical love is possible for those whom the spirit of God dwells within. It is time to take up our crosses, not to live impoverished lives or to cast out demons and do great works, but to do the greatest work of all, to love. The bible lets us know that we cannot buy our way into heaven with acts, and while it also says acts are proof of fruit bore...it also lets us know that on judgement day those who prophesied and cast out demons will be crying out for the Lord, but He will say to them, "depart from me, I never knew thee."
We cannot get so focused on our acts that we forget to love and have faith. Our acts can distract us from our true mission. The first two commandments are to love God, and love thy neighbor. It doesn't say tolerate your neighbor...or be courteous to his face, it says LOVE. How many of us, can say we love all our neighbors in the true biblical sense? If not, we are failing our mission here people.
I have always called myself the "optimistic hopeless romantic" well, I have decided to change my self-dubbed title to "optimistic HOPEFUL romantic." Perhaps
I want to change the world. Perhaps, this is not out of the realm of possibilities for me. I have always been someone who sought after love, and wanted to love others. Before I came to Christ, I was unable to fully understand the true depth and form of love.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7.
This sort of love would seem almost impossible, except it is actually quite plausible.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5: 22-23.
True biblical love is possible for those whom the spirit of God dwells within. It is time to take up our crosses, not to live impoverished lives or to cast out demons and do great works, but to do the greatest work of all, to love. The bible lets us know that we cannot buy our way into heaven with acts, and while it also says acts are proof of fruit bore...it also lets us know that on judgement day those who prophesied and cast out demons will be crying out for the Lord, but He will say to them, "depart from me, I never knew thee."
We cannot get so focused on our acts that we forget to love and have faith. Our acts can distract us from our true mission. The first two commandments are to love God, and love thy neighbor. It doesn't say tolerate your neighbor...or be courteous to his face, it says LOVE. How many of us, can say we love all our neighbors in the true biblical sense? If not, we are failing our mission here people.
I have always called myself the "optimistic hopeless romantic" well, I have decided to change my self-dubbed title to "optimistic HOPEFUL romantic." Perhaps
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Dear Future Husand
Hey! I will pray that you are good today. Today I realized I want to write a song...I don't know what about. Also, I think I may make the main character of my book a writer, and add poems to the book that really explain how she's feeling, taken from my own experiences. Might be kinda cool. I have already decided to add the one I used to refer to as my current "magnum opus" Hubby, sometimes life is so hard.
You ever find yourself trying to do the right thing, but sometimes the things you do with perfectly good intentions just end up so wrong? I feel like that and it sucks. I feel like, I am constantly banging my head against the wall screwing up. Hubby, I hope you have patience, and an endless amount, cause I can be a serious handful. I remember when my ex had nothing but patience for me, then things changed, and he was constantly being short with me. Please don't be like that. I get that I screw up and you have every right to be mad, but please don't overreact over every little thing or assume the worst in my character as if I'm personally attacking you and on purpose and out to get you. It sucks when people do that.
I just pray that you are well today hubby. I wonder if you pray for me too. It was put on my heart "he prays for you." I wonder if God meant you. It made me cry. In a good way. That you are out there, somewhere, likely unaware of who I am, and I have an idea of who you might be, et when you pray for your wife, it affects me, because God knows who to send the prayer to. Something about that is so comforting hubby.
Love always,
Stephanie
You ever find yourself trying to do the right thing, but sometimes the things you do with perfectly good intentions just end up so wrong? I feel like that and it sucks. I feel like, I am constantly banging my head against the wall screwing up. Hubby, I hope you have patience, and an endless amount, cause I can be a serious handful. I remember when my ex had nothing but patience for me, then things changed, and he was constantly being short with me. Please don't be like that. I get that I screw up and you have every right to be mad, but please don't overreact over every little thing or assume the worst in my character as if I'm personally attacking you and on purpose and out to get you. It sucks when people do that.
I just pray that you are well today hubby. I wonder if you pray for me too. It was put on my heart "he prays for you." I wonder if God meant you. It made me cry. In a good way. That you are out there, somewhere, likely unaware of who I am, and I have an idea of who you might be, et when you pray for your wife, it affects me, because God knows who to send the prayer to. Something about that is so comforting hubby.
Love always,
Stephanie
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Mother's Day
In honor of Mother's Day, I wanted to say Happy Mother's Day to the woman who has been there to support me, love me and encourage me through every stage of life! I love you so much mom, I dedicate this entry to you!!
I have fond memories of my childhood, Specifically when I was 8 years old, and you took me to Disneyland. you had a bunch of rolls of lifesavers you kept in your purse and we went on all the rides. We also went on splash mountain more than once. We spent the night at the park and went to the queen mary the next day where you bought me a glass unicorn for my birthday. =)
I will write more memories soon. >^_^<
<3 Always,
Stephanie D. Jacobs
I have fond memories of my childhood, Specifically when I was 8 years old, and you took me to Disneyland. you had a bunch of rolls of lifesavers you kept in your purse and we went on all the rides. We also went on splash mountain more than once. We spent the night at the park and went to the queen mary the next day where you bought me a glass unicorn for my birthday. =)
I will write more memories soon. >^_^<
<3 Always,
Stephanie D. Jacobs
In the Eyes of the World..
I am a loser. I lost my job, I have no idea where I'm going, I am 24 with no direction in my life, I don't have a degree, I haven't got a career figured out, I live at home, I am not the world's idea of beautiful, I lost the guy I loved more than anything to another girl.
If you look at life like that, it is VERY depressing.
But in Christ, I have been freed from the world's idea of what I need to be. My tests are blessings, meant to bring me closer to God. God will always provide us with opportunities. If we look at the world as we are alone, and this is it, then how we measure up is really significant. It then becomes important to not only measure up, but to excel. To go as far as this life can offer you, since its all you get. But when you die to yourself, die to your sins, and become reborn in Christ...
you realize, this life...is fading, and dying away...and that's ok. It is ok that the world is temporary. It is ok that the world will fade away, and that one day we will die. In Christ, we are freed from having to live for ourselves, we realize there is more. We realize, if we let go, and just free fall, with no idea where we will end up, that God will take care of us, He will provide. There is a level of comfort in knowing that.
I look at my job as a learning experience..and after I have truly grasped the lesson, God will provide another opportunity. I look at my love life, like God knows my heart, in a way not even I fully understand it, and He has something better planned for me, whether I stay single or whether its someone He brings to me..either will fall into place as should. I look at not knowing where I'm going as ok and good. I will take it one day at a time..one moment at a time. What am I doing this moment, this hour? (to quote what a friend said yesterday.) She said don't focus on the big picture..focus on what you are doing in this moment. It was sage advice I will take to heart. >^_^<
If you look at life like that, it is VERY depressing.
But in Christ, I have been freed from the world's idea of what I need to be. My tests are blessings, meant to bring me closer to God. God will always provide us with opportunities. If we look at the world as we are alone, and this is it, then how we measure up is really significant. It then becomes important to not only measure up, but to excel. To go as far as this life can offer you, since its all you get. But when you die to yourself, die to your sins, and become reborn in Christ...
you realize, this life...is fading, and dying away...and that's ok. It is ok that the world is temporary. It is ok that the world will fade away, and that one day we will die. In Christ, we are freed from having to live for ourselves, we realize there is more. We realize, if we let go, and just free fall, with no idea where we will end up, that God will take care of us, He will provide. There is a level of comfort in knowing that.
I look at my job as a learning experience..and after I have truly grasped the lesson, God will provide another opportunity. I look at my love life, like God knows my heart, in a way not even I fully understand it, and He has something better planned for me, whether I stay single or whether its someone He brings to me..either will fall into place as should. I look at not knowing where I'm going as ok and good. I will take it one day at a time..one moment at a time. What am I doing this moment, this hour? (to quote what a friend said yesterday.) She said don't focus on the big picture..focus on what you are doing in this moment. It was sage advice I will take to heart. >^_^<
Thursday, May 5, 2011
A Decision
I had always wanted to be the writer that DIDN"T write about sex. Sex scenes are an easy way to communicate the romance and desire between two people. I have always wanted to challenge myself, not use other methods, not so much because I was against sex scenes, but because it makes you really push yourself creatively to express that same intimacy in other more subtle ways.
So now, as a new believer of Christianity, I've made the decision to make my main character a man (vampire) that desires to wait until marriage, because as he states, "Because I want you to know, that when we do that, I am yours, and yours alone. No other girl will ever be with me. Also you are worth waiting for darling. I want you to know that." I find such beauty in that.
My whole life, I thought that sex=love. I remember always being the one that initiated it, thinking, that's what love was. i had it set in my mind, if a guy had sex with you, he loved you. My first ex, used to force me to have sex with him, using everything from mental abuse to guilt trips. My second ex, practically raped me the second time he came out to California, not listening when I asked if we could wait, and to please STOP. (No complaints on the third ex.) I had an unhealthy relationship with sex, as I viewed it as something that was required, and not something that wasn't.
I can't undo the past. What I can do, is hold to my morals. My flesh may desire sex, ALOT. I personally, want to wait. The feeling of being with someone, and then having them leave you, is incomparably horrible. I don't blame anyone for that. I'm not suggesting that once I've had sex with someone they should stay with me forever either. What I am simply saying, is that I should guard my heart better. I always played myself off as someone who wanted sex so badly, when all I really wanted was the deep emotional connection I had incorrectly assumed sex would bring.
The simple solution? No more sex until marriage. It started out as something I said out of anger at my ex. It became something I wanted to do for God but didn't particularly want to do. It has become, something beautiful, that I long for myself to have. I am worth waiting for. I don't need to have sex with a guy to prove that to him or anyone else. Screw what society says. Screw what my hormones say. Me, I'm taking a stand. No sex until marriage!
I want a man willing to wait. I want a man that looks at me and says "You're worth waiting for." If I start to deter from this path led by my hormones, I want a man to act like Frederick does, letting me know that once we are married, he would gladly do that every night, but that for now, he wishes to wait, to give that to me. I'm worth that damnit. Frederick isn't just a random godly man. I find he has become the fictional depiction of what I desire in my own future husband. >^_^<
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Change
I was thinking about this the other day. A few years ago, I would quit taking my meds for days at a time, to really get inside my character's pain and feel and live their story. All I wanted was to breathe life into the story and my characters. Fast forward to today. I think of all I have been through. I no longer need to do anything like that. Even though I am now healed, the scars of yesterday allow me to go to a place in my writing that I couldn't have before. Going through everything was so hard. But I look back on it, and I am so grateful. I have become a woman. A woman of God, who looks to faith for healing and answers. I am what the Lord has made me. I am a writer, because he made me this way. Before I came to faith, I used to tell people, that my talent was God given, as I hadn't really trained. To this day, I hold to that. Everything I have, everything I can do, is a blessing from God. It also allow me to be a testimony to the world of God's love.
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