Strength

One of the biggest struggles I think that I have had, is surrendering my heart, not letting it harden.  Something that I have always done to protect myself, is to put up a barrier, to keep people at bay, and then when they try to get close to me, and I feel like I could potentially be hurt, I push them away, by hurting them..breaking my own heart inside, and coming across as a monster, all because I've been so afraid to embrace the idea that I might be worth someone genuinely wanting to stick around for.

My friend Michael and I were talking the other night, and he told me, that it is easy to hate, hatred is primal.  Its harder to love.  Especially after someone has wronged you.  He told me, love is strength.  Under all the layers of hurt and beneath my barrier, is someone who loves, unconditionally, though I try so hard not to let it show, and I'm not entirely sure why.  I want to give that love away, I want it to show.  I am trying my hardest to make myself vulnerable, to show everyone and maybe even myself who I am.

My greatest weakness is my greatest strength.  My heart.