Awww~

I decided to get out for a second last night.  As I was walking out the door, I told my dad, "I love you dad, back in a few."  He then said something that made me cry.  "We love you too.  We just want what's best for you."  I think I have always taken how good I have it for granted.  I have never gone a day without wondering what I would eat, where I would sleep, any of that.  I have been more than taken care of.  So this entry is a thank you to my parents, for always having my back and being there to catch me no matter how many times I seem to fall.

I remember when I was in high school, the hardest thing I have ever done to date, is when I had to look my mom in the eyes and tell her I was a cutter.  She was relieved for a second that it wasn't drugs, but she saw the radical change in both my mood and behavior, leading to the conclusion I was on something.  In truth I had been suffering from depression, and unable to tell her, unsure of what I was feeling, and afraid of what they would say or how they would take it.  They got me help, and never gave up on me.

I made some bad choices with school, choosing to quit going for a guy.  My parents who had always been so gung-ho about school were accepting and said "School isn't for everyone.  Do what's right for you."  Even when I couldn't see it or understand it, all they wanted for me, was to make the choice in life that would make me happiest in the end, and if it wasn't what they wanted for me (a bachelor's degree and a steady job with good retirement) then they were still ready and willing to support me and back me.

When I looked at my mom and told her, "Mom, I want to write a book."  She didn't look at me like I was crazy or dumb or coming up with a ridiculous idea that was hard to get into.  Instead,  She looked right back at me and went, "Then do it.  Let's see it."  She has always told me I have the talent to do whatever I want.  I'm very lucky in this regard.

My parents have always wanted me to do what's best for me, whatever that is.  I remember telling my mom I fell in love with a guy online that lived in TEXAS and that I was going to fly there to go see him. With a bit of reluctance and hesitation she supported me.  Admittedly she thought it was crazy to fly to a state I had never been in, away from everything I knew to see a boy.  It was.  And you know what?  She trusted my judgement enough to wish me luck and drive me to the airport.  (Feeling ALOT better about it after I called her and told her that I was ok.)

When that said boy broke my heart, my parents were very nice about it.  They understood how much I loved him, and didn't give me a hard time about it just because of it was a 'long-distance relationship'.

So, thank you, to both my mom and dad, for loving me and backing me and giving me a home and a place to belong.  No matter how much I felt like I had no place in this world, because of you, I always have.  Thank you.